Things got a little intense around here yesterday, so let's lighten the mood with a much overdue installment of a Cusp of Normal favorite, Andrew Has a Flavor.
Rae, the talented makeup/beauty enthusiast at The Notice recently posted a photo her friend took in Switzerland of a frightful bird at the zoo. (Rae, if you need me to take this photo down, I totally understand. Just say the word.)
Hmmm. Yeah. That bird is a total creep, am I right?
The following is a conversation that took place after I shared this creepy bird photo with the husband:
Andrew: that bird sucks. it looks reeeeeeeal mean
me: like it's waiting to mess you up
Andrew: so bad
me: like, "oh hi, can i tell you about a great opportunity to save money on your car insuran.....”*BAM*
me: YOU'RE DEAD
Andrew: dead. yep. sounds about right… “Hi can I see your baby for a magic trick for just like a second or two. . . “
OH HOLY JESUS THAT THING ATE MY BABY! TONY TONY THAT &%$#@# ATE OUR BABY
Tony: WHAT THE #@$! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!?! I LEAVE YOU WITH THE BABY FOR ONE SECOND, DANIELLE!
me: wow. yeah.
Andrew: ONE $#@%&$! SECOND AND YOU GIVE IT TO SOME SCARY @#%&!@# BIRD FOR A MAGIC SHOW???? WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!?
me: That's pretty believable
Andrew: and. . . scene
But do you know what is the most disturbing part of this conversation? He wasn’t really that far from the truth...
And in case you are wondering, this thing is called an African Shoebill Stork. NEVER entrust your baby to one of these things. Promise me.
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13 comments:
what's wrong with you guys?
Everyone ignore Jessica, she has some "issues."
BFFs 4-eva!!!!!!!
wowza
ummm .... wow
Well since the bird is from Africa, I guess we know the story about the stork bringing along the babies didn't originate in Africa.
AHAHAHA! (No, actually. I laughed so hard my sister came into the room to ask me why I was laughing so hard.)
Seriously though. That bird looks SUPER happy to be eating another bird... never trust a bird with a beak that makes it look like it's grinning!
Shit. I just dropped Theo off with one. HE HAD A LEGIT FLYER!
okay that is one creepy freaking bird.
see... if i ever murder someone i'm just going to get one of those birds and blame the death on it.
genius.
Please tell me that image at the bottom is not real...I'm in my happy place right now. POOR DUCKY!!!!!
I refuse to believe that's a bird.
That is a gargoyle.
Dudes... that's a stork! It didn't eat the baby. Tony and Danielle were just really bad parents (as evidenced by Danielle's willingness to give her baby to a @$%&&^%$# bird), so the stork is going to puke it up on the doorstep of more deserving parents.
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