Ho Ho Ho!

Fleeting Joy

Yesterday for five fleeting minutes, I was the proud owner of this seasonal decorative pillow, purchased at K-mart for the low low price of $4.99:




It's hard to get a feel for the scale of this gentleman... he's 18" tall and 13" wide. Much larger than, say, a traditional dog toy. But to Lucas' untrained eye, there was no difference between my new little holiday friend and something he would like to lick every square inch of just moments before tearing out the stuffing. :sob:

RIP Mr. Owl. I wish I would have had the chance to get to know you a little better. You are in a better place now. (That is, if being in the trash smothered in the remains of last night's dinner is considered an upgrade from the shelves of K-mart...)

Christmas Confirmation

Andrew's parents and sister have always made me feel like a part of the family. But this year is different. It's our first Christmas as a married couple. And yesterday, while baking Christmas cookies with his parents, I discovered something I didn't recognize hanging on their mantle... something AMAZING.



My very own stocking!

See, Andrew's family has very good taste in everything. Especially holiday decorations. And I've admired their Christmas stockings for years. Each family member has his/her own unique stocking, all by the same designer (Patience Brewster, Department 56) including Mr. and Mrs. Frog (see below), a Nutcracker, and Ballerina.




Now that I have the Pointsettia Lady stocking, I am OFFICIALLY 100% part of the family. If the marriage license wasn't enough confirmation, this sure is. :D

A twist on the traditional holiday greeting card

Tonight we are taking Luke to the vet to have his thyroid levels checked. They've been checked before (and he was put on meds for a thyroid disorder) but we found out they have not been using the Michigan State Panel, which is the only way to accurately check a greyhound's thyroid levels.

So tonight, Luke's blood will be mailed on ice to Michigan State University for analysis.

In other news, Hillary and I had big plans to kidnap Kyla. See, Kyla basically lives halfway between Pittsburgh and Vancouver, so the idea just came to us naturally one day. The same way most great inventions are conceived of. Like the ab roller, for instance.

Anyhow, Kyla is going to Vancouver this week and thereby thwarting the great kidnapping plan of 2009. I'm very distraught and trying to come up with a way to be a part of their Canadian tomfoolery.

And so far, my best idea is mailing my blood on ice to Vancouver.

Do you think I can arrange that through FedEx?

Sigh.

Subject: Boiled Wool Slipper Boots

I got a surprise in my inbox yesterday from a Garnet Hill representative...


click to bigify

Dear Megan,

If you need any adults to test these out... I'm your lady! (Mermaid, size 7, please!)

Love,
Mermanda

Your Dreams (and mine)

I'm often boasting of my latest crazy dreams. My subconscious' ability to conjure up the most ridiculous situations is something I'm quite proud of, actually.

Everyone probably has strange dreams at some point or another. But what is special about mine is that I can usually recall them quite vividly... even hours or days after waking from them.

Sometimes I share my brain's latest creations with Twitter. Perhaps you recall these gems?

"Last night I had a dream that I worked with Demetri Martin, who was trapped inside the body of Andy Samberg."

"I had a dream Ben Rothlisberger made me a corned beef sandwich at a deli. I wished him luck on the game. He looked confused."

"@katiehappens I had a dream you mailed me a Christmas stocking full of chocolate bunnies. my dreams are pretty much amazing."

The first dream I can vividly remember happened when I was between one and three-years-old. In this dream, my "nostrils" fell out. Except, they looked just like slices of hot dogs, not nostrils. They fell right out of my nose. (I don't think I learned what nostrils really were until many years later.) Toddler Mermanda just thought they were some things jammed way up inside your nose. And if they fell out? You were in big trouble. Which is why I awoke from the nostril dream in a panic. When I realized it was just a dream and that my "nostrils" were still probably intact, I was quite relieved!

What is your earliest memory of a dream/nightmare? I would love to know!

Modern Day Cinderella

Do you think I could squish my feet into these kid slippers?


mermaid

unicorn

do you see that shark? it's awesome.

Dear Garnet Hill,

Please make these boiled wool slipper boots in big people sizes.

Love,
Mermanda

P.S. The "horse" slippers look more like giraffes. Get your act together.