Do you see this face?

Oh, sure he might look all sweet an innocent like he could never do any wrong. But don't trust him, folks! He's a maniac!

Luke was having some ... um... how do I put this delicately... butt licking problems... the week of our wedding. The wonderful woman who previously fostered Luke before we adopted him offered to watch our boy while we were busy getting married, so she took him to the vet for us. They ... oh boy... um... "expressed his glands" (sorry! I really didn't mean for this to be such a graphic post!) and sent him home with a strict order to eat more fiber.

Well, we picked him up after returning from the honeymoon only to find him still very irritated and uncomfortable. We took him to the vet the next morning and they tested him for a bacteria infection. The vet said he must have got into something he shouldn't have. To which I replied, "Oh, I bet it was either that dead animal I had to pull out of his mouth a few weeks ago or all that garbage he ate!"

See people? This is not the face of an angel. This is a dead-animal-garbage-eating- monster.

We also had the vet check him for a thyroid disorder, as all his shedding has me worried. Greyhounds are not supposed to shed much at all, but tell that to the tumbleweeds of fur rolling around on our wood floors. The vet was very skeptical, saying he was probably shedding due to stress. (Stress? Um, lady, Luke doesn't exactly live a stressful lifestyle. He eats, poops, and sleeps. That's really about it.)

The thyroid function test came back to reveal that our boy has hypothyroidism and has to take two little blue pills every day for the rest of his life. The low thyroid hormone levels explain his shedding, bald belly, and low energy level. The vet told us to expect a noticeable change in his energy level on the meds.

Oh boy, we notice.

We came home yesterday to find my loofah shredded into a thousand pieces and poop on the rug and (i kid you not) poop smeared on the walls. I really don't know how he managed to do that. It's almost impressive.

What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing. How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay.