Hair of the dog... or shriveled guitar player

First, let me clear up some rumors. It is true! Our offer on the house was accepted! We are having the inspection Friday, and barring any awful surprises, we are closing May 29! The house is stone with clay tile shingles. It is pretty much an indestructible fortress. Now we just need some dogs!

Speaking of dogs... my new haircut resembles a strange mix of:

Chinese Crested Dog



Ronnie Wood (Rolling Stones)



Pat Benatar


In other words, I look really hot.


Photos to come...

Gesundheit!

On the bus this morning, a woman sat across from me sneezing her poor little head off. No one was acknowledging her--so after her third sneeze I slid in there with a tiny little "bless you." She nodded and said "thank you."

I then sat back and thought about the little exchange that just took place. Isn't it totally weird? Why did I feel so compelled to "bless" this stranger? I mean, I'm pretty sure this woman is not coming down with the bubonic plague any time soon. Right?

But then I remembered my upbringing...

Growing up, my dad was always extremely offended if his sneeze was met with silence.

Dad: ACHOOO!
Me: [silence]
Sister: [silence]
Mom: [silence]

awkward silence....

Dad: WELL, GOD FORBID ANYONE SHOULD BLESS ME!

The moral of the story is, if you ever meet my dad and ignore his sneeze--you better not ask him for any favors.

Three things that will change your life

Today I bring you three things that will change your life:

#1 Bra Baby
What is the worst thing in the world? Easy. Clothes that need washed by hand. (What, you were expecting me to say social injustice?) Okay, so maybe it's not as high on the scale of "things that ruin humanity" as genocide and Boy George cover bands, but still. It sucks. I think we can all agree on that much.

That's why this little invention has saved my life. The days of scrubbing out the sink and hanging dripping wet bras over my dining room chairs to dry are over.


Found in the "As Seen On TV" section of Bed, Bath, and Beyond and available online, this is one of my favorite purchases of 2008. You just secure your bra inside this two part contraption, throw it in the wash with the rest of your soiled garments, and lay flat to dry. What more could you ask for? I found that using the Bra Baby not only makes my life easier, but it really extends the life of my bras, keeping them pristine and in great shape.

#2 Proactiv
I haven't used Proactiv since high school, but recently my face wash has been leaving behind a film and just wasn't doing the trick. I saw the TV commercial for Proactiv offering the free travel kit with purchase, so I signed back up. (Who doesn't love "free gifts"? Crazy people. That's who.)

My first shipment arrived Friday and my skin already feels one hundred times smoother, softer, and clearer. Why did I ever leave this stuff behind?! Blasphemy! Even if your skin is pretty clear, this is a great line of products for your every day routine. Click here to get the same special offer as me.

#3 Save the Last Dance Soundtrack
Do I really need to explain this? It's THE BEST SOUNDTRACK EVER. Seriously. If you ever feel like shaking your booty, this is the music to do it to.


My favorite part of listening to this soundtrack is reenacting the final audition scene of the film to Athena Cage's "All Or Nothing." You really can't say you've lived until you try it.

Now tell me some things that will change my life!

XO

Momma doesn't need a new pair of shoes

Twice a year I like to celebrate the segue from fall/winter clothes to spring/summer clothes and vice versa by spending way too much money on new clothes, shoes, and accessories. Two weeks ago, I bought 3 pairs (THREE!) of sandals, spent one third of my monthly salary at Ann Taylor Loft--and as if that's not enough damage to my checking account--I also bought this: It's a Vera Bradley bag from the Limited Edition Vintage Rose Collection. Close up of the fabric: I'm really not even a Vera Bradley type of person--I do already own one of her bags that has since been retired, but I received it as a gift. And I have only used it a handful of times. (As a toiletry bag when I travel... gasp. Sorry if I'm offending any Vera Bradley die-hards. She's just not usually my style.) Anyhow, my bags take a lot of abuse. Sometimes I stash them on the floor under my table at restaurants. Sometimes people spill beer in my brand new bags. On my birthday. (Don't ask.) This particular line of bags are made of a luxurious silky material. I just don't see how I'm going to keep a silk bag lookin' good. Come my next karaoke adventure, there is bound to be a Blue Moon spilled all over it. With that said, I find myself wearing a lot of black... and assuming it can survive my lifestyle, this bag could be a nice pop of color in my wardrobe. So now I ask myself, do I take it back? Or not? Making my decision even harder is the fact that I purchased this adorable matching wallet. I am such a sucker for a pretty wallet. What's a girl to do? My money is probably more wisely spent on a neutral bag that isn't made of such a wussy material. Now speak up.

Call me in six months...

My neurologist's office just called and said they want to follow up with my B12 levels in six months. Um... I WANT TO FEEL BETTER NOW. HOW BOUT WE FOLLOW UP NOW, BITCH?

Okay, sorry. I'm grumpy.

In other news, Andrew told me a few nights ago that when we first started dating he actually thought I wore a diaper. Something about him giving me a playful smack on the tush and hearing/feeling "a smooshy diaper."

Hey men, there's this feminine hygiene product out there. I think it is called "a pad." Check 'em out before your assume your girlfriend soils herself.

Thanks for tuning in!