100 Things

1. Squirrels are my good luck charm. If one scurries across my path, I know it will be a good day.

2. I couldn’t go swimming from fifth grade until my junior year in college due to a perforated eardrum.

3. I kicked and screamed like a two-year-old while the doctor was trying to fix my eardrum. It was an outpatient procedure with no anesthesia. The nurse and my ex-fiancé (see below) had to literally hold my legs and head to the table so the doctor could do his thang.

4. I had a 60 percent hearing loss in my right ear from the perforation. When they patched the hole (with cigarette paper, actually), my hearing improved significantly. On the way home, everything sounded so loud, including the tires on the road, I cried and secretly hoped the patch wouldn’t work. (It takes three weeks for your brain to adjust your hearing.)

5. I sleep with a t-shirt over my face to block out the light.

6. I’ve had plastic surgery to correct an automobile accident injury. (Rhinoplasty.)

7. I bite.

8. I am obsessed with the idea of being on Deal or no Deal.

9. I blow my nose a lot. My dad says he’s saving a lot of money on tissues now that I’ve moved out.

10. I clip my toenails on the couch, even though it disgusts my boyfriend.

11. I was engaged for two years in college. He broke it off and though I was devastated, I now consider it to be the biggest favor anyone has ever done for me.

12. My first celebrity crushes were Michael J. Fox and Scott Baio.

13. Don’t play too rough with me. I bruise like a peach.

14. I wanted to minor in art history in college, but I have no artistic skills and knew I would probably fail the studio arts courses.

15. I hold grudges.

16. I volunteer weekly at Children’s Hospital.

17. No comedians can make me laugh like Mitch Hedberg (RIP) and Ellen DeGeneres.

18. I used to get put in the corner during weekly girl scout troop meetings. I was quiet as a mouse in school, and I had to let the bad come out somewhere.

19. If I went on Survivor, my one personal item would be a huge jar of Vaseline. I am addicted to their lip therapy, and would honestly run to the drug store immediately if I ever realized I didn’t have one in my purse. I apply it about a dozen times a day.

20. Sometimes I cry because friends let me down.

21. My mom is one of my best friends.

22. I am obsessed with my eyebrows. I consider them my worst feature and am constantly attempting to make them look normal.

23. Styrofoam is seriously sick. Touching it or hearing it squeak makes me want to crawl out of my skin.

24. My first CD was the Fugees, followed by Celine Dion and No Doubt. A friend in high school borrowed the Celine Dion album and claimed she had “lost it.” I.want.it.back.

25. When I was little, my mom only listened to Christian praise songs, Michael Bolton, and Tracy Chapman. I still love Tracy Chapman and listen to her all of the time.

26. I won the drama award in 7th grade for my role in the play “Ducktails & Bobbysox.”

27. As a young girl, I loved reading the Babysitter’s Club books. My favorite book in the series is “Boy-Crazy Stacey.”

28. I almost applied to get my MFA in poetry. I quit the application halfway through. My portfolio was almost done.

29. I want a job where I feel like I am making a difference in people’s lives.

30. I am convinced I am going to die every time I go on airplanes, elevators in buildings with more than 5 floors, and roller coasters with very steep drops.

31. My best friends from high school want nothing to do with me. I miss them and dream about them almost every night.

32. Three places I want to go in the near future: California, Hawaii, and Italy.

33. I use ellipses way too much.

34. I hate shopping for pants because I am so freakin’ short.

35. I want to have children one day, but just the thought of being a mom exhausts me to no end.

36. I am a surprisingly excellent thumb wrestler.

37. I used to get made fun of in gym class.

38. When I stay at a hotel, I keep my socks under my pillow in case I need to go to the bathroom. Never walk barefoot in a hotel! Gross!

39. Sponges are disgusting and harbor bacteria. It makes me want to puke when I see people use them to wash dishes.

40. Music is essential to my life.

41. Josh Ritter kissed me.

42. Regina Spektor hugged me.

43. Mark Curry (Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper) thinks I’m smokin’.

44. So does Hines Ward, according to my boyfriend.

45. I hate reading/watching fantasy books/movies.

46. Burning wood is one of the best smells in the world.

47. I’ve been published in a few magazines. One that you might have even heard of!

48. I am the most sensitive/emotional person that I know. Sometimes this makes my life harder than it needs to be.

49. I enjoy asking my boyfriend really dumb “would you rather” questions. They usually start out like this: “Would you rather eat nothing but baby food for a year OR….” My boyfriend really hates the “baby food game.”

50. When I am not sure what kind of music I am in the mood for, I reach for Bob Dylan.

51. I have a huge girl crush on Mandy Moore.

52. Caffeine has no effect on me.

53. I am in love with Gilmore Girls and seriously sobbed my eyes out when the last show aired.

54. I hate when people say, “Think outside the box.”

55. I like to make fun of my boyfriend for having small ears. (Seal ears!)

56. I wish my job was more challenging… but sometimes I’m relieved it isn’t.

57. I can haz tacos?

58. Eyes disgust me. I will never wear contacts and I can’t put in eye drops under ten tries.

59. I have a ghost.

60. If I could be any dinosaur, I’d be a pterodactyl.

61. I still harbor ill feelings towards my high school archenemy.

62. I sometimes wonder if I am a hypochondriac.

63. I believe in aliens.

64. Litterbugs enrage me.

65. I hate the smell of maple syrup. Gag.

66. I make the best grilled cheese sandwiches ever.

67. I wish I was tone and fit… but I can’t stick with a workout program long enough to see results.

68. I am pretty decent at smacking a wiffle ball out of the park.

69. I have a bird tattoo on my foot. I got it before I graduated college to remind me of my college town, Athens, Ohio.

70. I have no rhythm.

71. I drink red wine and wheat beer.

72. I never turn down chocolate. (Well, once. But that’s another story…)

73. I love olives of all colors, shapes, and sizes.

74. I was a resident assistant in college.

75. I can never tell when my dad or boyfriend is joking. I hate that they have that in common.

76. I am always cold. I blast my space heater all year long.

77. I want a ton of pets one day.

78. I look ridiculous in baseball caps.

79. I love funky eye shadow.

80. I look good in purple.

81. Despite my few guilty pleasures, I think I have really good taste in music. (Please ignore my N’Sync CDs and previous mention of Celine Dion…)

82. I have horrible posture.

83. I am trying to live greener.

84. I am scared of pretty much everything.

85. I listen to Death Cab for Cutie’s “Plans” almost daily.

86. Iron and Wine’s “The Trapeze Swinger” is the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. I cried when I heard it live.

87. My favorite shoes are red patent leather peep toe flats that I got on clearance at Filene’s basement.

88. I could sleep for days. I never feel rested.

89. I’ve never stolen anything. (Unless you count pirating music and personal wireless Internet connections.)

90. Vanilla Hazelnut is my coffee of choice.

91. Sometimes I wake up feeling like I was just talking to God. (That’s weird, right?)

92. I am trying to read 50 books in 2008. It’s June and I’m only on number 19.

93. I can kill a plant in record time--without even trying!

94. I have to eat every few hours or else I get shaky and weird.

95. I’m very sentimental and keep everything.

96. I am always told that I write backwards… I’m still not sure how that happened.

97. I can waste an entire day reading Natalie Dee, Toothpaste For Dinner, and Married to the Sea comics online.

98. I’ve not yet left the United States. (I’ve never even been to Canada.)

99. I have short stubby legs like a daschund.

100. I want to name my future dog Patrick Swayze.