Just humor me.

Stolen with much love and affection from Brandy...

I can’t…
Do a cartwheel. Roll my R's. Think about Maddie without tears welling up in my eyes. Stop having dreams about the girls I called my best friends in high school. Kill a bug without shrieking. Ride spinny rides at the amusement park. Ever seem to get to my cell phone in time to answer calls. Eat sugar snap peas, strawberries, or black raspberries without my mouth itching like crazy.

I can...
Bake a mean cookie. Sing along with most boy bands. Quote Anchorman. Watch HGTV all day. Amuse myself. Do a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. Achieve most goals I set for myself. Admit that the Internet is my only vice.

I won’t…
Make promises I can't keep. Bake another pizza until this weather cools off again. Dwell on my short-comings. Stop taking my daily vitamin after a week (like I usually do). Carry a balance on my credit card. Ever be without hand sanitizer in my purse.

I will…
Send thank-you notes to our friends who helped us move two weeks ago. Ask for a promotion this year. Apply for my passport. Snuggle the crap out of Luke--beginning tonight! Make more time for my girlfriends. Order some whimsical art from Etsy for our kitchen. Pick up the dry-cleaning and get an oil change this weekend. Always be there for my parents.

I shouldn’t…
Stay up so late. Drink so much coffee (a new habit). Keep buying so many dog toys. Blast my space heater at work all year round. Waste so much time on the Internet. Spend my lunch breaks inside in front of my computer. Be so impatient.

I should…
Eat more fruits and vegetables. Write to or call my grandma. Send my future mother-in-law the guest list for my bridal shower. Buy a dehumidifier. Weed the back yard. Figure out how to wear my hair on my wedding day. Figure out how to get rid of the moths in our closets without using stinky mothballs. Return to Zumba class soon. Let myself "mark all as read" sometimes. Go to church.