I'm going to beat that groundhog to a pulp

Just kidding PETA... heh... NO BUT SERIOUSLY! I thought it was supposed to be spring now? We've "sprung ahead" with our clocks and all that jazz and busted out our spring wardrobes... so what gives? I'm sporting my winter coat for the second day in a row since our 70 degree weekend. Sad face.

Speaking of beating up animals... did you see this? Are you going to click on that link or what!? No!? Fine. I don't care if you read about ninja kangaroos or not. I'm just trying to help.

(Sorry, I'm a little grumpy today.)

In other news... have you watched episode three of Cooking Thyme With Andrew?

No? You didn't? Why not!? Just kidding. I don't care.

Get off my lawn!

I am still alive

I am sorry for my disappearance from the blog world. I truly miss you all and have so many things I am looking forward to blogging about in the near future. I just don't have the time to do it justice right now, so please bear with me. I'll be back and hopefully at the top of my blogging game in just another day or so.

Happy New Year!

XOXO,
Mermanda

Merry Christmas

It looked like Christmas was going to be a big downer for me this year. There was drama at my parents' house and Andrew woke up feeling very sick on Christmas Eve. Insisting it WAS NOT a hangover, he got my sympathy and I went to the store for supplies to nurse him back to health. I waited on him throughout the afternoon, as he laid on the couch swaddled in blankets. After he threw up "a little bit" it became obvious to me that he was too sick to leave the house, I called my parents to tell them Andrew wouldn't be joining us for Christmas Eve dinner. When I told Andrew I thought it was best he stayed home so he didn't get my family sick, he gave me the puppy dog face. "I want to be a Christmas person," Andrew pleaded. "Well how do you feel?" "I haven't thrown up in hours." "That's not the same as feeling well. I'm not sure it's a good idea..." While I still believed it was a hangover from staying out late with the boys the night before, he claimed it was food poisoning from eating ham and potato salad that was sitting out for six hours at his office Christmas party. I thought that sounded pretty believable. And so (after a few shots of Pepto-Bismol) we met my parents, sister, and her friend at my family's favorite Asian restaurant for our traditional Christmas Eve meal. Afterwards, my mom talked the family into skipping church to go home and relax. (Bad Mommy.) We exchanged gifts, watched a movie, and played a game--which Andrew, my mom, and I dominated, thank you very much. The next morning, we were off to Andrew's parents' house for merriment and gifts with his sister and her boyfriend. Andrew and I were both slackers this year and did not give his parents a list of things we wanted. It turned out to be one of the most magical Christmases ever. They really shot themselves in the foot, though, because we're sure to never give them another Christmas list again. (Sorry, Susan!) The first gift I reached for had a pteradactyl ornament taped to the box. (How could I not go for the bait?) Well... does this look familiar? I think I squealed upon seeing "Origami Ink" on the box. Oh, and then I made out with the bird. So what? How unbelievably awesome does this thing look on our mantle? I have a problem with breaking fragile things, so Andrew made me promise him that I'd never touch it again. It's for the best. I love love love it! Thank you so much Jack and Susan! You are both very sneaky Santas. Snuggling with our new handmade Steelers blanket. Meet Smuckers. She's kind of a brat. Andrew's sister and her boyfriend gave me a rockin' cupcake book, so be on the lookout for some photos of the craziest cupcakes you've ever seen in the near future. (They also gave me salad hands. If you don't know what those are, your life is incomplete.) After we opened gifts, we ate a delicious french toast casserole. There was also LOTS of bacon. And I think we can all agree (except you veggies out there, of course) that bacon is the true meaning of Christmas. Much more Christmas fun in the evening followed; we had dinner at Andrew's aunt's house. (That's right, I used a semi-colon. I haven't blogged in ages, so I feel compelled to bring out the big guns.) I met some of his relatives from Nashville for the first time, and they all lived up to their reputations as being "the cool cousins." Oh, and I'm not just saying that because they all admitted to reading my blog after getting e-mails about the proposal video on Glamour. Yes, Andrew's entire extended family has now viewed Andrew ripping a bandage from my arm on the Internet. And that's what I love about techonology, people. :) There were three new babies at the dinner festivities, and I did manage to make one cry when I asked to hold her. In my defense, I think she was incredibly tired. I swear babies like me! The highlight of the evening, for some, was cocktail hour--featuring pomegranate martinis. I stuck with wine, and I'm very thankful for my decision. It was later revealed that each martini contained a half a cup of vodka. Oh, yes. That's about four shots of liquor. I can see how that would have gone... me hugging the toilet for Christmas dinner. Not exactly the impression I'd like to make. Not everyone was so lucky. Uncles slurred their speech. Aunts let curse words flow from their tongues. The term "tea bagging" was used--several times. Ben? I think that at least ties your Hummer experience. Christmas continues Friday when we celebrate with the other side of Andrew's family. Bring. It. On.

What I've Been Up To: A Photo Essay

Engagement flowers from my future sister-in-law


Engagement celebration dinner kiss


Engagement Squirrel Surprise


Not so engagement cozy handmade scarf from Sarah


Engagement gingerbread house, assembled with love by my future sister-in-law, Andrew, and me

May your days be merry and bright

Tonight is my sleep study. I am a little more nervous than I thought I would be about sleeping hooked up to a bunch of sensors. I have to be at the facility at 9 p.m. I wonder if they will send me straight to bed. I'm allowed to bring my laptop, so maybe I'll live blog my sleep study, if that's even possible.

What I'm most curious about is tomorrow's half of the study. I will be put in a sleep deprivation situation where they will see how long it takes me to fall asleep for three consecutive naps. I think the sleep deprivation part will be that as soon as I fall asleep, they'll be waking me up. Someone might get punched. They better be careful.

And now, a little dose of Andrew on the holidays:

Andrew: Someone set up a stupid fake plant covered with blinking colored lights right next to my desk. It's driving me crazy. There are also 3 six inch tall singing mice in hats. I hate working in the hallway :(

Me: Tell me about the singing.

Andrew: I haven't heard them sing yet--but I've been warned that they have the ability to sing.

***************************

So there you have it, folks. I hope your holidays are full of mice wearing lots of nice hats and absolutely no vocal chords.

Phlegm and Cider: My Long Weekend in Asheville

Well, I survived the mountains of Asheville, North Carolina... and I'm officially a quarter century old. Thanks for all of the birthday wishes while I was away. They certainly put a big dorky smile on my face last night as I attempted to catch up with Twitter, Facebook, 20SB, and my reader. You kids have been busy! My viral cold lingered on throughout the entire vacation, and like my ever-enchanting mullet, is still with me today. Luckily (?) the virus is just in my lungs, so other than a sexy phlegmy cough and zero energy for anything other than sipping spiced hot apple cider and napping in front of the fireplace, I was/still am pretty much the picture of health. Our cabin, Rhododendron Cabin, was seriously adorable. I took very few photos on the trip due to general laziness. These photos were borrowed from the rental company's Web site: There was no hiking on my part--but Andrew, his parents, and their dog Smuckers, did take an excursion while I napped. Now, I don't want your sympathy. Don't misunderstand. I am very fond of napping. I don't mind being forced to nap in a cozy cabin in the mountains while everyone else is traipsing about in the 40-degree mucky muck. I napped Friday away, and by Saturday I was ready to face the streets of Asheville. We visited a bunch of adorable shops and had lunch at Bistro 1896. One shop in particular, Origami Ink, stole my heart. Packed with beautiful stationary and other treasures, I lusted for many items that my wallet couldn't afford. But none were as stunning as the artisan bird figures that were scattered around the store. Completely out of my souvenir price range, these birds will be something I will probably regret not splurging on for many years to come. While exploring the town, I was constantly blown away by how friendly the locals were. I've heard of southern hospitality, and don't get me wrong, Pittsburghers are lovely people. But dang! I felt like hugging everyone I encountered. There was door holding, "excuse me's," "sorrys," "pardon me's," and genuinely warm conversation. Shopkeepers spoke to me like we were old friends, and guess what? They loved the Obama button. I felt truly at home. Saturday evening, Andrew, his parents, and I went to the Biltmore for a candle light tour. If you're not familiar with the Biltmore, it is a mansion that boasts more than 250 rooms. Are you dying? Ready to die again? It was built by 25-year-old George Washington Vanderbilt--completed in 1895. Truly incredible. (Again, photos borrowed from the Biltmore's web site.) The house was all done up for Christmas--complete with a choir of carolers. Roaring fireplaces in almost every room and countless Christmas trees gave the largest home in the United States a romantic glow. The house never ceased to amaze me--it even has its own bowling alley, indoor swimming pool, and "state of the art" gymnasium. (Of course, "state of the art" fitness equipment in 1895 consisted of medicine balls, parallel bars, dumbbells, and very little else.) We planned to go back the following day to tour the grounds and winery, but the weather and my lingering illness caused a change of plans. Instead, Andrew's parents explored neighboring communities while Andrew and I had brunch and hunted for antique treasures. In the end, my eggs were inedible and it turns out antiques bore me. Oh, well. With many more hours of daylight to burn, Andrew and I set out for an adventure to Black Mountain--a town a few exits from Asheville. We arrived to find Black Mountain is pretty much closed for business on Sundays. We peeked in one more antique shop before deciding to return to the cabin to watch the Steelers game in front of the fire. With one speeding ticket under Andrew's belt, we made it to the cabin $150 poorer. An afternoon of football watching, book reading, and fireplace napping, led to an evening of Yahtzee, chocolate eating, and more cider drinking. All in all, I have to give my Thanksgiving/Birthday weekend getaway two thumbs up. A big thanks to Susan and Jack for inviting me to be part of their mountain escape. I hope you all had a restful weekend.

Happy Thanksgiving

I'm heading to my parents' house for turkey tomorrow. After we are stuffed to the gills, Andrew and I are driving four hours towards Asheville, North Carolina. Friday, my 25th birthday, we will drive the remaining 3-4 hours to our destination and spend the weekend relaxing in a cabin with Andrew's parents.

I'm not really sure what our days will entail, but we are going to see some crafts, eat some local grub, and go on a hike--if my cold allows.

There's definitely going to be some serious gaming, lounging, and snacking too.

I haven't decided if I'm going to bring my laptop with us on the trip, so if you don't hear from me for a few days, don't fret. I'm in the safe hands of a merman and his family.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I think Santa finally lost his marbles

You know how bloggers are taking their time to thoughtfully prepare gift guides for the holidays? Well, I'm not one of them. Instead, I want to show you some of the biggest wastes of money I have ever laid my eyes upon--all found in the newest Bed Bath and Beyond "1001 Best Gifts and Beyond" circular.


First, we have the Wallet Pix: Carry up to 58 of your favorite photos wherever you go with this mini-digital photo album, which features a 128 x 128 crystal clear color display and is small enough to fit in your wallet, pocket or purse. $14.99

I find this extremely unnecessary, especially in the age of high tech mobile phones. If you really want to bore That Guy Sitting Next To You On The Airplane with photos of your kids' kids... wait until you land and quickly bust out your phone. He'll never see it coming.

The next completely idiotic gift idea that I have for you, is the Krups Beertender.



The Krups BeerTender®, for the ultimate at-home draught beer experience, was designed for the beer connoisseur with an aversion to reading the instruction manual. The, BeerTender® is simple to use and was designed to work exclusively with the Heineken® and Heineken Premium Light® Draught Kegs®.

Okay, so this thing is advertised in the Bed Bath and Beyond circular for $279.99. That price tag is the first problem. The second problem is that it only works with shitty beer... er... I mean Heineken. The third problem? It doesn't even come with beer? So you shelled out almost $300 and what do you have to show for it? This ugly thing that is sure to take up lots of precious counter space and dispense--at best-- a mediocre brew. No thanks, Santa. How bout you get me a six pack of Allagash and we'll call it even?

Next: Waring Pro® Wine Chiller. Chill and serve wines at their proper temperature with this professional wine chiller. Its attractive classic design with streamlined body enhances table presentation beautifully. The LCD backlit screen displays preprogrammed temperatures for 33 varieties of red, white and Champagne wines from the MCU library database. $99.99



Seriously? For just twice the price of this completely idiotic gift, you could buy a really nice wine cellar, which stores and cools 25 bottles of wine. I mean, if you want that bottle of red to be perfectly chilled for dinner? Throw it in the fridge for five minutes. Seriously. And it won't even set you back an entire Benjamin. Again, Santa? If you want to get me something nice, a case of Two Buck Chuck from Trader Joe's will be graciously accepted in lieu of this glorified electronic ice bucket.

Next: simplehuman® 14-Ounce Sensor Soap Dispenser: This cutting-edge soap dispenser from simplehuman® brings sleek style and modern technology to your home's functional products. This sensor dispenser automatically releases hand soap, dish soap or lotion and even has an indicator light that activates when soap is released. When the timer is activated, light blinks for 20 seconds to indicate when hands are clean. $39.99




For $40 a robot better actually wash my hands for me. A blinking light to tell me when my hands are clean? Just... go to hell, Santa.

Okay, I could go on, as I'm only on page 8 of this 24 page ad, but I just don't have the energy to continue.

I'm signing off this blog post with some words to the manufacturers of these asinine products: If you are trying to come up with gifts for "the people who have everything"--just stop. People Who Have Everything do not have room for useless crap in their homes. (Their Cool Stuff is taking up all the room. Duh.)